June 28, 2018
A couple of things happened that were pretty cool. My first session was the massage and when we finished we talked about any visions or images that came to us. I had a tree come to me with a heart in it where the base begins to branch out. The next day Jess had painted this picture of my vision….
Then I found this when I went to the Grand Canyon….
Then for another session I had to choose numbers, colors and at one point an animal and I happened to choose Jaguar. I didn’t think much of that and went on to my next session. The turtle came up, or more specifically, Turtle island, or north america, if you aren’t familiar with the story of how Turtle Island was created there is a beautiful Native American story you can look up, there are several renditions depending on the tribe, here is one you can read about from the Ojibwa tribe: http://www.native-art-in-canada.com/turtleisland.html
I went to lunch down the road at this cool paleo place, very different and kind of Jurassic park looking inside. The waiter sat me down at a table and I was looking at this Jaguar…
Then I looked down at the table to see this turtle:
You really can’t make this up, things happen for a reason and if you stay open to all the possibilities in life you will be amazed at how easily things will flow.
have a beautiful day!
June 27, 2018
This month flew by. My last day with my previous corporate job was June 1 and since then it’s been pretty exciting. It is nice to wake up when I want and not when an alarm beeps.
My trip to Sedona was everything I hoped it to be and more. The energy of Sedona is amazing and I was on a constant charge there. I couldn’t live there, I think it would be too much to handle but it’s the perfect place for a personal retreat!
There were seven sessions with guides and each one helped to heal and move me to the next step. I went for a reset but received so much more.
The first session was a massage with essential oils, sound healing, and she worked on some hidden stuff that needed to come out. I didn’t expect to be rid of the darkness that was hiding in there, I thought that was gone a long time ago, but it was brought to light and the next guide helped to move it out.
Breathe in White light and breathe out the dark smoke…..
The second session brought up some very old energy that we moved out and laid to rest. Energy moves, it’s all around us, within us, you can carry lifetimes in your soul that need to be healed and moved out so you can move forward.
The third session was very interesting since I had never worked with horses like this before. My guide communicated with her horse and they both tapped into my higher self. The horse is named Sedona, how appropriate 🙂 She was so gentle and kind. Mantra “I know I am safe and protected” Positive, Patience and using Yes to move forward. Crystal healing and communication. I also received my name, Running Deer with changed the next day to Joyful Running Deer. I like it!
The fourth session was early the next morning. We hiked to the red rocks and did early morning Yoga. Yoga on the red rocks was very cool but I probably should have practiced Yoga for a few week before. The altitude is higher then my body is used to. I am out of practice and need to get back into Yoga, which I plan to do now. It was lovely, the views were beautiful and it was all very private. No other hikers/bikers disturbed us.
The fifth session turned into something we both didn’t expect. We went over what I wanted or felt I needed and what I thought would be looking to see what my next step would be but it turned into a theta session that was pretty amazing. We cleared out a lot of crap that was in my energetic field and released any attachments to old ideas and energy. My friend and her boyfriend practice Theta and I was pretty amazed how it worked and worked quickly. It took a few sessions to get some deep things resolved, but thanks to my guide we did it.
One thing that came up was the throat chakra and speaking my truth. I’m pretty good at speaking my truth but sometimes I hold back. I will be speaking my truth more going forward.
The next session was a spiritual guidance reading that we did record and to sum it up here, I will be taking some time to settle into my new home and should see some big changes March. That’s all I really want to say at this time, more to come on that.
The last day I had two sessions and the first was a very powerful land journey. We hiked to a spot where nobody would bother us and we did a lot of work. I carried four rocks as we went to the site which represented burdens I am carrying….well those burdens were cast off soon enough making me feel very free.
We did a lot of work on releasing so much so that I made it literally rain. Yes, rain! It hasn’t rained in the area for awhile, they have many fire warning signs up but the clouds gathering and it rained where we stood for a little while. It wasn’t a downpour but it was a release and cleansing for me.
My last session focused on my empowerment tools and inner journey. Speaking my truth and staying open to possibilities. I think it may be time to update my vision board. I received some good books to read and working on daily meditation. I also want to take a class in Reiki. I have my next steps and time to put them into action. Painting is also part of this, I know it has been awhile since I picked up the brush. There has been so many changes and so much going on, but that will come in time as well.
If you want to know the retreat or have any questions please feel free to contact me.
have a lovely day
in light and love
June 5, 2018
Wow has life changed since the last posting. I closed on the condo and Rich and I will be moving in Sept full time to Florida. We absolutely love Venice and are super excited to start a new chapter there.
The last piece is to find the job of my dreams and that will come in time. I have some leads down there and I think it will be the right fit for me. We also are looking at starting a little business so that may be happening as well 🙂
In the meantime, we are fixing up the place in Florida, I don’t think we will ever paint walls again…lol Unless it’s a mural, I’ll stick to canvas, it was a lot of work but we managed to get it all done.
New adventure awaits us and I know it will be fun!
Patience has paid off and although I thought it may be ten more years until I got to this point, I’m happy to be where I am now.
Next week it’s off to Sedona, AZ for a personal retreat. Time to recharge and refocus the meditation and yoga practice. Get back to basics and living life simply.
Entering the next phase with renewed hope and love….
peace and love
March 26, 2018
I’m not sure where the last three months went, but boy they went fast!!! I didn’t think it was that long since I posted. Change is in the air and I have been patient for these changes and this week it all seems to be happening. I have always been pretty good adapting to change, it doesn’t really bother me but when it’s big it sort of takes your breath away and has you processing things.
I am moving to Florida, probably in June, I bought a condo near the Gulf coast and I’m excited to finally have my home in the warm sunshine. Job will be changing too, I’m just not sure what it will be but I’m trusting the universe will show me the way when the time is right.
Let’s recap the whole asking of universe thing here:
last year (well before that really) I asked to sell my home, meet a great guy, move to FL and find the job of my dreams.
What happened so far….sold the house, met the guy, will close on the place in FL soon….
Patience isn’t always easy but trust me when I say it is worth it.
So I will try to update more frequently…time really can slip by quickly.
have a lovely day and have patience…all good things will come in their own time.
December 29. 2017
Well here we are in the middle of the holiday season. Christmas came and went with plans that kept changing and we had to adapt to those along with family emergencies. Dad fell so hip surgery and rehab and then Rich had bicep surgery so it’s been a little crazy but we got through it and have enjoyed some downtime at the beach.
Reflecting on 2017…I put some pretty big orders out to the universe and as it always seems to happen in my life, things come quickly and all at once. I sold my house one week and the next met Rich. So two huge changes with moving and merging my life with someone else in 6 months, actually less. That’s pretty big.
2018 will bring some more changes….there are two other big changes and I won’t say what they are yet, but if they happen then it will be pretty cool!
I’m not making resolutions but I do want to mediate more, paint more and work on those two other changes. I’m happy with most everything, there are always some adjustments and other things that I want to change. Those will come in time, but I think I need to put a little more elbow grease into my dreams to make them come true.
I’ll tell you more as I move along….Happy New Year!! I hope this new year brings you all happiness, joy and love.
December 5, 2017
Don’t you love waking up in the middle of the night, cold sweat, panic, and have a terrible feeling that something is wrong or that you chose something wrong…you get on Facebook, because let’s face it, what else is there to do but catchup on all the things your friends posted or watch bad TV. You troll around FB and calm down, you are tired but still can’t fall asleep, so your brain starts thinking these crazy thoughts…everything from people doing you wrong to all the choices you made in life and what brought you to this moment right now.
I write this at 12:58am…it’s one of those nights but I’m not giving into the drama of a dark mind, instead I decided to blog, so here I am writing about all the midnight crazy mind. Ok I am not really going there..I just realized that I haven’t updated this in 3 months, seriously? Yikes! Time goes by way too fast and lately I feel like I need to sit back and relax more. BUT…the holiday’s are coming fast and all the prep to get ready needs to be done. I am having fun decorating, it will be nice having all the kids here for a dinner…hopefully it works out. Honestly, all I truly want to do for this holiday season is go somewhere warm, sit on a beach and chill out, although I say that every year and nobody really wants to do that, they say they do but when it comes down to it, nope. I am pretty sure on Christmas day I will be alone, walking the beach in NJ, painting and relaxing…so it’s my wish but colder. That’s ok though, I have learned to be quite happy being by myself. The one thing I learned on my travels abroad by myself…you are never really alone. There is always someone with you on this journey. Alright so back to reality…
It’s been a hectic three months, I moved again, feeling a little more settled for now. I am not in my comfort zone for sure but this is what I chose so I’m getting used to it. Sometimes you need to shake things up in life to find what you really want. I am not complaining at all, it’s just how I feel and finding that giving up everything is quite an adjustment, but finding what I found since doing that has been amazing.
I have learned a lot. This Cancer shell has gotten harder…I’m not a soft shell crab that is for sure..LOL
I am happy to know all the people that have come and gone in my life. I’m choosing to keep those that I care about my life, the others, this includes family, will have to find their own way without me around. You really can’t help people who are not nice. Everyone has a path, you need to follow what you are meant to do and who you are, conforming to the ideals of others is not living your life. Live up to your expectations because you are the only one who will make you happy.
There is your 1am wisdom….getting tired now and since I haven’t hit the lottery and need to go to work in a few hours I will sign off and wish you all light and love, peace and joy and much happiness.
September 5, 2017
Wow, where did the summer go? Granted there are still a couple of weeks left but it seemed to fly by so fast. The beach has been a wonderful change. I’m still dealing with the mixed emotions of moving. I think it really has more to do with most of my belongings being in storage…i am a Cancer and we love to make our shell (home) beautiful. It has all been challenging on many levels this summer.
I met some amazing friends, I am so thankful for all of them. I also met my boyfriend who is beyond amazing. The gentle and sweet man is nothing short of wonderful. Never judge a book by it’s cover because if I did and he did…we never would have know how much we have in common. It’s funny how you meet someone and they become such a big part of your life and heart in such a short period of time. I admit I got swept up in the sweet summer romance and now it’s time to give some attention to my art and writing.
Photos are great but I need to paint and I have a little room for a studio so I’ll set up shop and start working on something soon.
This transition has been quite the learning experience. I found out things about myself that used to be true and aren’t anymore. Things I still need to work on and things I need to let go of in my life.
I’m happy though, I know everything happens for a reason and I find myself thinking that more often. When I expect something to happen and it doesn’t I don’t get upset I just figure it didn’t happen for a reason. I forgot something at home and turned around, maybe I avoided an accident or nail in my tire…I planned to get laundry done but the day got away, it will get done tomorrow…I guess if you think of it this way…if I happened to die tomorrow none of that would really matter, so if it waits a day to get done or something else more important has to happen…it’s ok. Everything happens in its own time and I’m becoming really ok with that now.
I didn’t mean to get all morbid there, just stating a simple fact. It’s the perspective of how we look at life. We can’t take it too seriously. There is a time and place for everything.
May the long time sun shine upon you….may peace and love be with you…and may you always find your happiness (hint: it’s inside you already 😉
in light and love
Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I checked in here. Time goes by so quickly when life changes fast! I finally sold the house!! Yay!! It was so fast I could barely keep up but thankfully I have good friends who helped me move and now I am living at the beach, a block from the ocean.
I wish everyone was happy for me but as I posted in the previous post I have to let those people go, even if they are very close. The negativity is not worth wasting energy on, and once I do finally make a more permanent move I know that things will change again but through all this I am happy.
The ocean is my happy place and although i always knew that, now I know for sure that this is where I am meant to be. It’s a risk worth taking and I’m happy that the changes I have wanted to make are happening.
Tonight I found out that a walking meditation during sunset is a beautiful experience. I really enjoyed the mindfulness of walking and sitting. Watching an amazing sunset and listening to some wonderful music. I may make this a nightly ritual in good weather, it’s very calming. If it rains I have my meditation pillows.
Life has changed a lot in the past month, new place to live, new friends, new relationships and it’s all very positive. I wish I could paint but the photography is taking center stage for now. I don’t have room to paint here but that’s ok, this is a pit stop on my journey. I’m sure many more changes will come and they will all be good.
I hope you all view change as a growth experience…it teaches us a lot about ourselves and others.
In light and love
April 29, 2017
I sat down to write this and so many things come to mind today. Life is changing for me and there are many stereotypes that I see, some directed at me and some at others. Isn’t it time to just let all that go?
If someone doesn’t agree with how you live your life and the choices you make, that’s is their problem.
Please do not take that on and change yourself. If you aren’t hurting anyone or yourself in some self-destructive manner then what does someone else’s opinion matter? Guess what…it doesn’t. There are those that like to self impose their truth…what is right for them doesn’t make it right for everyone else.
If you want to change your hair color, get a tattoo, travel the world, dive with sharks, do it…live your life because it is YOUR LIFE.
I see this happen to so many people and recently someone tried to do this to me, but it won’t work. If those people are so unhappy with their lives then that is not something you need to take on.
Please live your truth….
March 19, 2017
The Shift….the subtle shift that happens in your soul when you do something that is life changing.
There are many people that describe this shift inside of themselves. There is a feeling of awakening, opening of the heart, a subtle change in one’s reality or a feeling of looking for something new in one’s life.
I knew India changed me but I didn’t know how and feel like I am still working through changes. It’s quite amazing how an experience can bring out those little intuitions and feelings you keep deep within. They may not be hidden just hanging out waiting for something to trigger their release. I came back to my reality, my work, friends, family, home…the life I have here. There is something different though, I feel more change and I’m going with it to see where it will take me. Things seem clearer, I know what has to be done even though I don’t know where that may lead me next. This may make absolutely no sense to many people and it may completely resonate with others.
I feel more of this shift everyday, it’s a wonderful feeling and I know I need to just go with it, and I will.
India is beautiful and imprinted something that is still blossoming within me, no matter where I go I take my experiences with me. That is really all we have in this life….we come in with nothing but a body and experiences and we are here to learn new experiences and will leave without a body but with a lifetime of experiences.
What do you want to experience in this lifetime? What things will change you? It’s amazing the opportunities you have and you can experience, if you just let go and live.
Wishing you all a blessed day…may it be filled with experiences that change your soul.
love and light
March 5, 2017
My trip to India was inspiring and life changing. The first week I spent at Chera Rocks resort at a “Walk Your Talk Retreat” hosted by Vanessa Tucker and Mano Guillemot. This was a wonderful retreat that helped me to realize my next steps.
I was one of the last people to arrive and after I settled into a beautiful room overlooking the Arabian Sea I met my other retreat goers for lunch. The first thing we did before we ate lunch was a colorful exercise to get to know each others name. We took colored powder and threw it at each other, covering ourselves with powder paint (washable) and loads of fun!! We had a lovely meal and got to know each other a little better and then some of us hit the beach to relax and unwind.
The following day we began our journey of discovering our inner selves. We used art as a medium to express our feelings and mediation to journey deeper to find what parts we needed to give some attention. We spent from 10am- 2pm on the retreat, had lunch and then had free time, which was perfect for hitting the beach. (which everyone knows, I love) We had some really nice talks on the beach and in the ocean. We supported each other and grew as a group, each in our own way. Mano taught us Qigong and that was something I always wanted to learn. I may start taking those classes once I move, feeling the energy flow through and around me is pretty awesome.
My one on one with Vanessa brought about some other realizations. I know my life is going to change a lot and quickly. She cleared my chakras and aligned them, I felt much lighter and ready to move forward. Change is never easy and although I have the plan in my head I know that putting it in place is the next part. My journey was to let go and let the universe take me where I am to go, trust and receive. I am doing that now!
The second week I spent at Kunnur Ayurvedic Hospital Wellness Center, taking care of the physical body. Traveling can really take one out of their comfort zone. The room was quite simple, there is no beach but I did have treatments to go through, herbal medicine to take and I hope it will all help the swelling in my ankle go down, something that the western doctors can’t quite figure out. Hope to have a massage today because the beds are rather hard and not great for my back. I feel the need to stretch and get out of here for awhile. The room is like a dorm room, although there is no roommate, I felt a bit closed in and need to get out and explore a little.
The first treatment I had was a water/herbal treatment, please don’t ask me the name as I can not recall the name of anything in another language, terrible I know. Anyway, here’s the scenario….you remove all clothing, they put a paper loin cloth thru your legs and tie it in the back. You are on a wooden table that is quite hard. There are three women, one heating and refilling the water cups and two women that pour warm water with herbs, down both sides of your body. Needless to say, I didn’t know what water this was at first and thought that getting my vaccine’s before leaving was a great idea at that time. Of course, it is all clean and herbal…where the mind can go sometimes…honestly. They start at your feet and go up to your shoulders and back down to your feet. they do this about 35 times while on your back, then you turn on your right side, then face down, left side and finally you are on your back again. It’s relaxing, warm and makes you a bit sleepy. You dry off with something that is a towel but more rough and then you put your clothes back on and wait an hour or two until you shower. I had three of these treatments the first three days and the swelling did go down. Outside of the two woman and the third that was heating the water up and putting it into a cup, you really have no time to be shy, this is what you signed up for, it is what it is, so you roll with it.
The massage was on day four and nothing like I thought it would be, far from relaxing, but I am here to heal. This is how the massage works. Two women take oil and each does one leg/arm and they spread the oil up to your shoulders and down for about 20-30 times, you turn to the right side and they do it again, then on your stomach and then the left side and then on your back for about 5-10 more rub downs. As with the water treatment, if you are at all shy about this process you will not have a good time. You are not relaxing, they are brisk in movements and it feels more like a medical procedure than a massage. The last couple of days I managed to get them to play music…so that was a plus!!!
I also had a facial, pedicure and another massage that was oil and then milk…maybe milk thistle? My skin feels great and I am ready to go home. I’m in a dorm like room with twin beds and they are not comfortable. A couple of pillows and a blanket. It’s not a luxury hotel…it’s not even a Holiday Inn, but it was for detox and treatments, not leisure.
I stuck out the 6 days and I brought home some herbs to take for the next two months. The swelling in my ankle should completely go away they said, so I hope that is true.
I did get out while I was here, saw some elephants, monkeys, and birds. I hiked up a very steep mountain to see very old caves. I also visited a Bamboo place that had some lovely gifts. I managed to walk into town one night to buy some more gifts, I didn’t go too far and as much as I love to smile and be happy I seemed to have my “jersey” face on. I didn’t want any trouble.
The people were very sweet, very accommodating and trying to help, I look much different than they do with blond hair and blues eyes, I now know what it feels like a rock star. I went to a local lake the other day and people wanted to take selfies with me. They were very sweet and asked me where I was from…they do this with every foreign person, quite interesting.
Overall, my time in India has been really good, I learned a lot and I certainly reached my limits where bathrooms are concerned. Traveling brings about a new perspective to life. Why am I working at this job I don’t enjoy? What is the point? Money? I need to go home and take a look at my life, pack up my home of 14 years and take the next step. It is time for a change.
I am back home now and after reading all that I went through, it’s amazing to be back in the USA and into my routine again. This routine will be changing and very soon. I will be moving out of NYS and down toward the ocean. Tampa, Florida is where I would like to be, although I haven’t been there is years I do want to live in Florida and have warmer weather all year round.
Spiritually I feel I have grown and will continue to move forward in my meditations. Life is always changing and I’m looking forward to what comes next…
in light and love
February 10, 2017
Well here I am in India! What I can see from my hotel room so far is nice, tropical and hot. Love it! I’m pretty tired after my journey to get here so I booked a massage and hope to get some of the airplane kinks worked out of my back.
There have been lots of changes and although I won’t post on FB yet I’ll write them here because this is basically my online diary and well, I can. So I sold the house, ok, we will be in contract once I am back in the States. It’s bittersweet and I will miss Warwick, but it’s time to move on and what a year to do it, year 50…gulp..lol Right now it looks like I am moving to NJ, yes back to my roots but closer to the beach. Good, bad or indifferent, I’ll see what shakes out with the job and my new place of residence.
Alright, back to India, where the sounds are different, the atmosphere is warm and friendly and my plane head is slowly going away. They did give us a day on the retreat to relax but due to a snowstorm I came a day early so I’m kind of glad I have an extra day to adjust to the time difference. The weather, I need no adjustment, I will take this weather 365, thank you very much. I wish I was near a beach, well honestly I could be and not know it, I would go crash there for a few hours, but the next week I will have plenty of beach time. The other thing I plan to do this trip is detox, lots of water…ok I do need my coffee, but no alcohol, just clean water, food and no stress. I need to find myself again…what does that mean???? Didn’t I find myself in Bali and Colombia and all the other places??? Am I really that lost? Not really…I guess it is what happens when you work and caught up in the daily ritual of doing a job that you may like but you feel has no immediate impact on your soul growth. I know, I know, it does in it’s own way, but I think there is more beyond the daily grind that my soul needs. That’s what I am looking for right now. Where am I in my progression? Should I be on this journey alone or should I have a partner to travel along with on my quest? Honestly, I don’t know.
I feel like if I find where I am supposed to be in the next phase that the rest will fall into place. The universe is set in motion and I am manifesting what the next step is, I may not know what it is, I have this fuzzy idea of what is in store but no definite plan, I’m letting go and that is what this trip is about…letting go. I know how to do it, I just really need to practice it more and not let the 2am wakeup calls freak me out in the middle of the night with mindless monkey chatter. That can be quite annoying. I just want to sleep at 2am, not have my brain filled with senseless crap that I can do nothing about anyway at that time of day and really wouldn’t want to if I could. I’m sure I’m not the only one this happens to, kind of sucks though and I would like it to stop. Letting go….just letting it go…it really shouldn’t be that difficult, I mean honestly if I die tomorrow it wouldn’t matter would it?…nope…so why shouldn’t anything keep anyone up at night? So that is what I am going to work on and although I feel I have a pretty good handle on it, I am well aware that I know nothing and am always learning something new.
Off I go to meditate and rest…I hope you all have a blessed day
in light and love
Wow – here we are in a new year! I don’t really make resolutions, I make goals and a very good friend of mine told me to write them down and email them to myself so I could look at them everyday. Another friend made goals and attached specific timelines to them for the year. I sat down and wrote out my goals, I have four that I will accomplish this year. I didn’t put timing next to them yet, but I think I will to keep myself on track.
I’ll share my main goal and that is to move out of my home. I may not have been ready for that last year, maybe that is why it didn’t happen. I feel ready and balanced now to make the change. I still have no idea where I am going but that’s ok, the universe will guide me and I’ll find my way.
2017 is a year to let go…don’t try to force anything, just move in the present. Flow like the waves in the ocean, move in tune with the rhythm of your soul. Do what is right for you, not what others feel may or may not be right. Listen to your heart, fill your soul with joy, practice loving yourself and then if you want to improve something do it with love.
We are not perfect, but love who you are now knowing that any change you make will be even better.
We always start off a year with good intentions, don’t get overwhelmed by that, take a day at a time, a moment at a time with appreciation and gratitude. Small steps lead to big accomplishments.
Choose an affirmation like: I love myself, or I appreciate my life, or I value the stillness inside of me…repeat whatever resonates with you. There are so many to choose, delight in the exploration of finding what you really want and achieving that this year.
May love surround you and bless you throughout this year.
in light and love
December 4, 2016
Decision is finally made and my trip to India is almost set. I’m currently looking into the second week and what adventure I plan to take. I’ll be in Kerala and will be attending a creative and meditate retreat the first week. The second week I may take to heal the body and soul, and connect with nature.
I seem to be searching for something or maybe someone? I’m not sure. I’m pretty content with myself overall, sure there are always things to work on but I guess it’s a feeling of finding more, maybe that is it. It’s not filling a void or any emptiness, it’s more like creating space for something special that is coming. That would be as close to describing my feeling as possible. Am I ready for a teacher? Possibly? I believe all the answers are within us but sometimes we need help to find them, or bring them to the surface to learn and grow.
I think 2017 will be quite interesting…..
I haven’t been here in awhile and I apologize for that. I have posted some nice pics of sunrises and sunsets on Facebook and Twitter. My painting has slowed for now. Inspiration seems to have taken a vacation. I have been busy at my full time job that pays the bills, living between two locations while I try to sell my home and basically have been meeting many new people. All in all I still feel quite misplaced and not sure where I belong. I have learned a few things though.
The past few months have taught me to have patience, something that I always seem to need to work on with myself. I get too excited over really great things and want to speed up the process. Slowing down teaches us to appreciate each moment. We all heard that living in the present is a gift. Enjoy each day because you never know what tomorrow will bring. It’s all true…not easy to do all the time, but true. I know, just think about it, break it down and it pretty much resonates. Lessons learned in a moment can last forever and be built on to learn more lessons.
The people I meet always teach me something. The lesson may not come right away, sometimes it smacks me right in the face while other times it takes a while to figure out what just happened. I love deeply and I hurt deeply, very much an empath. I think my heart has shattered many times over my life, but the pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle, find their way back together. Stitched up like a character from a Tim Burton movie, beating slowly, rhythmically until the stitches fade. It is quite amazing what we can take on in life, how we manage to move forward broken and bruised yet holding our heads up because we won’t be taken down. It’s easy to give up, but really, where is the fun in that? We have to keep working on ourselves, why else are you here? Yeah, think about that for awhile.
Well that was a bit melodramatic wasn’t it? I’m not sure why I wrote all that, it’s true, and I have been through that and more but maybe it’s for a few of you to hear too.
My soul need some nourishment tonight…so off to meditate.
May you all be blessed and showered in love.
Beautiful fall day today! I’m trying to embrace the change of seasons but my heart seems to want to stay with summer. Today is a Sunday and I find myself in Warwick and not at the shore. It’s ok because today I want to bury a St Joseph statue to help sell the house, arrange some things around here and hopefully get into the studio to get some painting done.
I do feel quite displaced being here now. It’s not home anymore but I’m not sure the shore condo is either, I’m not sure where home is and for a Cancer that is a little unsettling but I’m going with the flow. I know everything works out so I’ll see where this will take me.
Today I will embrace with optimism of the unknown, enjoy my time creating and working on myself. I’ll meditate and things will all settle into place.
I hope you all have a blessed day, with much love and light.
Good Morning! It’s a rainy day at the shore but any day here is a wonderful day…the laid back atmosphere just makes you want to relax and sleep in a little. Sunday’s are always a mixed bag for me, the weekend winds down, time to move the brain from relax mode into work mode. Today would be a lovely day to paint, but since my studio is back home it’s also a good day to write here and do some work on the website.
Summer is more of a relaxing time for me, I tend to change my habits and spend as much time at the beach as I can, watching the waves roll in, swimming and just chilling out. Meeting up with old and new friends, having some drinks and do a little dancing. We always have a fun time, good music and good times. The longer days and warmer weather make us all feel a little more alive and happy.
How does this all relate to this site and meditating and painting? It all comes together when the timing is right. People who meditate can drink and dance too….I find it funny that some people think because you practice certain things in life that it consumes other parts of your life. It is a part of who I am but not the whole part. In order to grow I experience many things, travel, new people, art, meditation. They are all separate yet they do come together at times and that can be amazing.
Off I go to experience another wonderful day, filled with love and some raindrops….slowing it down and taking some time to reflect.
I hope you have a wonderful day….filled with happiness.
in light and love
July 19, 2016
Happy Full Moon! The past two weeks have tested me, through relationships, the house, and work it has been quite the adventure! I write this a year older and not feeling my age at all. I am pretty happy with choices I have made lately on many levels. There are things out of my control and those I will just let go, the rest that I can guide, I will. There are many possibilities and roads to choose. I know a lot of change is around the corner and as I told a good friend today, it’s overwhelming as much as it is exciting!
Painting has taken a back seat as it does during the summer. Drinking in the sun and being outdoors calls more to me then staying inside the studio. Yes, I can bring everything outside and paint, but it hasn’t called to me right now. I am not putting pressure on myself to do something, I will do it when the time is right, maybe tomorrow or the next day. I won’t beat myself up over it. Yes, it is my second job. Yes, I love it once I get in the zone.
The point is that life happens. We all have a lot to do these days and even high priorities can fall by the wayside for short periods of time. That’s ok, really, it is. So many of us stress over things out of our control and I know, I do it too. Then I remember that it all doesn’t matter. Stress won’t fix anything, it only hurts us physically, emotionally and on some level spiritually. Your energy is not the same, it is a lower vibration. Is it really worth it to stress over things? Granted on some level a little stress, nerves or anxiety may get you moving if you stall out and need a kick in the butt. We can all get complacent. It happens, we have human bodies that feel all of this. You can control it if you choose to do so. The choice to be happy and to let all this other stuff go is a choice. I can hear you now, it’s not that easy, is she nuts? No it isn’t easy, news flash, nothing is easy. It takes work. I can guarantee you that if you put the work into yourself, whatever method of finding happiness works for you, you will get there. Yoga, meditation, music, art….you know what makes you happy 😉
Hey, I am a work on progress. I admit it, I am far from any perfect happy person. I keep trying though, even on those really tough days when the world is crumbling around me and I want to crawl under the covers and go back to sleep (totally cliche, I know, but you get my point), I keep trying my best.
think about that and let me know how you feel….FB me, email or however you want to reach out…
in light and love
July 5, 2016
Well it’s been a whirlwind, the house went on the market and I went to Mexico. Driving back home today I felt displaced and ready to start a new life. My art is coming along and I hope to have more paintings soon. This journey is amazing, things change so quickly and I feel that a new challenge is about to happen.
Vacation let’s us vacate our lives for awhile… so now it’s time to get back in the saddle and work on myself some more. I guess I always work on myself, so maybe that isn’t quite how I should put it. I always try to do better, it’s hard when you want to be somewhere else and feel so displaced. I know things will all work out, it’s just having the patience to wait and sometimes that can be hard.
All in all life is good and I’m blessed to have wonderful family and friends. Everything happens for a reason so let’s see what the next few weeks will bring.
in love and light
I have been busy getting the house ready to put on the market. It’s time for a move to someplace simpler, a place with less work to do and more time for me to enjoy life and travel. A place with less bills and more closet space…lol I am sitting on my kitchen floor writing this blog and looking out to my dining room. So many memories happened here. Only 5 feet in front of me I slept on the floor 14 years ago my first night here thinking I made a huge mistake. I cried myself to sleep and woke up thinking that I can do this. Although I had help along the way from many people, all decisions were mine in the end and I’m happy with the results.
This house and I have have a love/hate relationship. I have grown a lot here, as did my daughter and the dogs. We lived many memories, some good, some crazy but all learning experiences and filled with growth. I’m not sure how long it will take to sell the house and I have no idea where I am going once it does sell. I want to move south but may end up sticking around for my job. It will be a big change and it always seems that I do these things in threes….last time I got a new job, new home and dog all in two months. This time is very up in the air but I have a feeling things will move quickly and I’ll be off and on to the next adventure.
I only hope that I left an imprint of positive energy here and that the person or people who are next to reside in this space enjoy this place and are filled with love.
It’s odd that you put so much into selling a place and all this work will only end up pleasing someone else. Mulch, paint, organize, clean, decorate and all for what? I’m tired now so I’m going to clean up the remaining items and contact my agent….time to move forward.
April 5, 2016
Arrived back from my Colombia, SA trip. It is hard to put into words what happened.There was a definite shift within me and some very deep healing. The group of people who attended this retreat were all amazing souls. We all bonded and the energy was amazing. I haven’t been in a setting with people where we all connected like that.
Stepping back for awhile, taking that much needed break from life puts a lot into perspective. I know there will be many changes coming up in my life. I have felt it for a long time but now it feels closer than ever.
This journey is so unique to each of us. We all have gifts to share and love to give out. I’m vibrating love now and it feels amazing. This will come out in my paintings and photos. I’ll be working on those and will post soon on the website.
My hope is for everyone to love themselves, enjoy each day and have gratitude for everything you encounter. There are lessons to learn everywhere, enjoy your journey!
in light and love
March 16, 2016
I haven’t posted in a while, but I have been busy painting and working on the website. Today was a very special day, I was a guest on Deborah Turner’s Connections Radio program. I’ll post the podcast when it is available. I was nervous but it was a lot of fun. She actually gave me an idea to post my poems here…we were talking about Sacred Spaces by carol anne and wow it just hit me that I didn’t say what the name really meant…kind of froze a bit. Oh we always second guess ourselves don’t we? We aren’t perfect and we do our best. I tend to be hard on myself sometimes, it’s really ok though and I did get my message across. I feel blessed to know so many wonderful people. I hope that I am inspiring them as much as they are inspiring me.
Back to the poems….I’ll post one soon here. I may even write a new one 🙂
Hope you are all enjoying your journey…may peace and love surround you always…
January 23, 2016
I should be in FL ready to board a plane for the Bahamas, however a snowstorm came in and shutdown the airport. It’s really not a bad thing, I am safe at the airport hotel, I have food and I’m warm. I’ll just build this into my vacation as part of the adventure. I have my flip flops on and just hanging in the lobby chilling out with other stranded passengers.
It’s all how you look at things, make some lemonade or in this case a lemon snow cone 🙂
So whatever you have that seems so insurmountable remember it could be worse and it will pass. It’s going to be alright!
in light and love
January 18, 2016
What inspires you? Have you thought about that lately? How does it touch your soul?
Inspiration can come from many places, a book, a person, a piece of art or even something that has been right in front of you for a long time and you finally see it!!! We all get caught up in the day to day routine and we tend to miss some pretty incredible stuff going on in the world. Luckily we have many forms of media to catch us up on all that but what about slowing down? What about actually smelling that proverbial rose? When it comes down to it, do you see the details or only the big picture? Sometimes the smallest detail can give us a grand idea.
When I begin a piece of artwork I look at the canvas and see what comes to me. I draw on what I have read, pictures and places I have been to. There are details in all those experiences that can capture a moment, a single moment of creation. I like to take those moments and blow them up on a larger scale to examine the creation…the essence of that moment in time.
So what really inspires you? I want to know, so shoot me a message on email, FB, or in the comment section on the website and let me know what inspires you?
Have an amazing day…in light and love
January 1, 2016
Happy New Year!! A new year always seems to spark people to clean up the old and start fresh with the new.
I cleaned up a lot the past two days and still have some more to do. I would really like to throw out a lot of stuff in my basement but the memories that dwell there belong to not only me but my family, so that will prevent a clean sweep right now. I am an organizer, especially around my home, maybe that comes from being a Cancer, we are home in our little shells, or maybe I just grew into liking to have everything somewhat organized.
However, this is not how my studio is setup. I am all over the place with paint, canvas, brushes…it could look a bit crazy to an outsider, but I know where most things are and why spend time organizing when I am inspired to paint? That works for me 🙂
I’m not sure I will make a resolution for this year, I think I will just do what I have been doing but more of it…all the good stuff… continuing to travel, meditate, paint, enjoy life and keep growing.
Whatever you do this year and moving forward, be kind to yourself, love yourself first and then shine that love out to the world.
Wishing you all a blessed and happy new year 2016!
in light and love,
November 22, 2015
The one thing I have to say about being an artist and having a full time job is that…I would rather just be an artist. It seems to take me more time to learn how to get this website to work correctly lately. I uploaded images today and they are all pixels, no idea why, researched it and just came up with regenerating thumb nails, so I tried that, but it isn’t working. Mercury isn’t in retrograde so I guess it must be me. I think I will let it go for today, I’ll load the new painting up on Facebook and hopefully this will work tomorrow.
The holiday’s are upon us and I am quite Thankful for all the blessings I have in my life. There are small glitches like this one, but I’ll figure it out eventually. I wish the rest of the problems in this world were solved. I’m sure feeding starving people is easier then figuring out my webpage, for sure! So I am grateful for all the good people in my life, as for the mechanical stuff…that’s for another day.
in light and love,
Time seems to go by so fast this time of year. The holiday’s are approaching, people seem to want to skip over Thanksgiving and head straight into Christmas. This weekend was lovely, I escaped the thinking of that by going to a local wine bar with my friend. Lovely food and company always make a nice time. I did get some painting done and will post those pictures soon. It’s exciting and I’m really enjoying the Bali series of work.
I hope to do a lot more over the Christmas holiday with painting and publishing, so stay tuned for some new works.
Prayers go out to all those in Paris and all those all over who have suffered such loss. May the world come to peace someday.
in light and love,
October 31, 2015
Happy Halloween! Honestly, it isn’t my favorite holiday. I’m not a big fan of scary stuff so I’ll lean toward just having a fun time. I find no reason to dress in scary costumes, scare others or have others try to scare me. It just seems like you attract negative energy and I would rather stay positive. I will dress in my lovely Renn Faire garb, that I paid a lot of money for so why not wear it more than twice a year, and head out to a party with my spinach dip and a bottle of wine 🙂
This year I’m in Kansas visiting my daughter and the NY Mets are playing the KC Royals in the World Series. Quite an interesting time since I am a Yankee fan. All this is wrapped up into one fun weekend. So this entry is off my usual topic of painting and spirituality. It’s always fun to visit with family and friends that you don’t get to see that often. Who knows, maybe when we are out shopping I’ll find inspiration in some Kansas architecture, you just never know.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day, stay safe, have fun and sending light and love to you all.
It’s funny how my paintings have changed or I should say my style has changed since I picked up a brush this month. I went back to a more distressed and rough look to my work. I actually enjoy using a palette knife more that a brush. I did earlier works like that and it feels much better, so that is the direction I’m taking now. I’ll still have some imagery that emerges out, around and within the paintings but the layers of dark and light will have more of an energy to them.
There is a lot of light energy filtering in now. I hope to capture that in whatever way I can, even the smallest of rays touching each soul.
in light and love,
I have been back in the US officially a week now and still have my “Zen”, I guess that is a good thing. Now, I’m planning my next trip to Sedona AZ for a personal retreat. I feel the need to dive deeper into my meditations and Sedona is calling for some reason. Ok, a lot of power vortex’s are there so that’s why, it’s finding the best place to go now and I think I have found one.
This week has been a bit rough with overcoming the jet lag. One thing to remember is to honor my body and it’s limitations at times like these. There is no reason to push recovery faster than the body needs to take it. I did get to the gym and got back into my routine, but I took it easy and didn’t beat myself up.
We do that a lot, beat ourselves up over things that really don’t matter much in the end. We tend to let that ego and human side take over sometimes. That’s what I want to work on next, love myself and put the ego in check more often. Little steps towards these goals all add up. Will I make mistakes…of course, I’m human, but I will pick myself up and show myself love and move forward. I wouldn’t want to be perfect anyway, how boring is that? I still have a lot of growing to do 🙂
Today will be a day to clean this house and work on the business, get some paintings in process and possible put them up on a new page of work in process here. It’s a rainy day, a good day to get things done around the house.
have a blessed day
in light and love
September 27, 2015
I got home yesterday, drank some coffee and worked on getting back to life. I fought the jet lag and finally passed out around 8pm. I’m up early and reflecting on an amazing journey. It’s chilly in NY, compared to Bali. Fall has arrived and I’m not sure I am ready. I do know that I want to live in a place that has warm weather all year round. I don’t know what place that will be, still searching for what feels like a good place. I know it will be near the ocean but I’m not sure where on the planet I belong.
I really learned a lot from my new friends/sisters on this trip. They all had different experiences and I really enjoyed listening to them. Lots of good information. The struggle is where do I go from here. I feel a personal retreat is the next step and then possibly Peru in June 2016 for the Summer Solstice.
Patience is always something I am learning and it, along with Mother’s, was the theme for this trip. There was much healing done and more to come. I don’t think we ever really stop growing. Even when we reach enlightenment, there is still more to do. You grow in helping others as well as yourself.
I’m happy to be home with Ozzy, in my little house, with my newly paved driveway and the coziness of my place. I am going to approach my regular job as I have been, not much change there on a daily basis.
My artwork and photos I will give greater attention and love to now. I’m no internet expert by any means, so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to message me and share. I hope to share all I can with the world and if I can bring even the smallest change or smile to someone’s face, it will make me smile a million times over.
I wish you all a peaceful and blessed day…Namaste
in light and love
September 24, 2015
The last morning in Ubud, we head out to the airport at 11am. I should be landing home Sat morning at 7am.
I’m looking forward to getting back to my routine and updating the site with pictures. I’m really looking forward to working on some new paintings.
The trip was not as spiritual as I had hoped. I did heal on many levels and now I’m going to work on booking a personal retreat for myself. I do know that I want to live in an area that is warm all the time.
I am resonating with the weather, but I’m still looking for the right place that feels like home to me.
I’ll miss Bali and it will always have a special place in my heart.
in light and love
September 23, 2015
I’m sitting on the balcony of my room and looking out over the palm trees, the distant mountain is veiled in a cloud and the serenity is simple beautiful.
Yesterday we visited two temples near water, both pretty recognizable from internet photos. The light wasn’t great so my pictures weren’t as beautiful some but we did get to go into both temples and receive a blessing from the priests there. Nobody else really has this access so we feel quite blessed to be able to see inside, take pictures and of course receive this wonderful gift.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love the ocean, so going to Tanah Lot was amazing. It was a bit treacherous crossing over, as it wasn’t quite low tide, but they really help you across and we all made it.
The view was breathtaking and the waves were breathtaking as they crashed against the temple walls and rocks below.
We visit the last two temples today…I’m a bit templed out by now. I’ll be glad to have some free time tomorrow to rest before the flight home on Friday.
Already thinking of the next trip…I think it maybe to Peru…
in love and light
September 22, 2015
What a whirlwind adventure this has been. We are so busy it is hard to find time to write. I know I will be catching up once I get home. I had another session with the healer yesterday, seems I really need to let go of a lot of things and I will continue to work on that. We all have stuff that we have to let go, it is a constant process and I know that each of us will get there, it just takes time and your willingness to do the work. The mother theme has been the thread that has tied us together on this trip, it has bonded us as a group and brought about some wonderful healing in myself. I thought I had done a lot of this work but I suppose there is always more to do.
Yesterday we had a free day and many of us went to ride the elephants. I have to say that my first impression was of sadness to see them chained within a circle, but after sending them love and watching them interact I realized that these rescue elephants were happy and in good hands here. I rode on Nicki and took pictures with her baby Risky. Both sweet and loving. I fell in love with these gentle creatures. They are so caring. Enjoy the pictures and now it’s almost time for Yoga!
September 20, 2015
Blessings from Bali! This has been quite a life changing experience. There has been a lot of healing going on here, truly a magical island. Visiting temples, offering blessings and receiving healing from traditional Balian healers.
We started out at a beach resort in Sanur and then moved to a beautiful 5 star resort in Ubud. Our guide is truly Bali royalty and we have been lucky to have VIP treatment wherever we travel. The shows we have seen are beautiful, the colors are vibrant and dancing is amazing. We ate at the palace last night and had a private show. The frogs, dancers and monkey god, I believe. It’s not in English but I have to say that for someone who really is scared of clowns and people in masks…I’m doing just fine. LOL
I had a private session with a healer yesterday. A lot of emotional stuff came out. They poke your toes with a wooden stick and it hurts like hell, but then once they move the energy around and move it out, it does’t hurt at all. When we started the session my stomach wasn’t feeling well but by the end I felt amazing. All chakras aligned and spinning. I am booking another session before I leave 🙂
We have all women on this trip, and the energy is quite amazing. We start the day with Yoga, then breakfast and then off to see an amazing temple. Yesterday we did a morning hike. It is very hot here, 94 degrees, thank goodness for air conditioning. The temples are magnificent, each quite unique. I’ll post more pictures on Facebook and here when time allows.
There hasn’t been a lot of time to journal or write in this blog. There will be more to come, tomorrow should be a free day, so hopefully I will have time to sit down and write more about the journey.
I’m sending much light and love to you all…may you have peace in your heart
Septemer 13, 2015
Good Morning from Hong Kong! The past two weeks had some highs and some very low lows for me. Definite need of re-evaluating certain areas of my life. Especially drinking, which will be slowing down. It’s not healthy for me and not something that will help my spiritual growth. So putting that in check and respecting and loving myself should get me closer to the goal of pure love.
I’m sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to Bali and just journaling. Then I realized, I need to hit up my blog and share this stuff 🙂
I won’t bore you with the physical condition after a 15hr flight, but a shower is in order one I hit Bali..lol I began reading Eat, Pray, Love on the way over and although I have seen the movie many times the book really gives some great insight to her life and what brought her to the year long journey.
Although I don’t suffer from depression or loneliness per se, I do resonate with having those feelings at times, like we all do. I can understand where that comes from, although different for each of us, it can be overwhelming.
I am sitting here looking at all the people around me, souls transferring to other flights heading to other parts of the planet. All growing and learning lessons. Lessons each of us will go through, maybe once or maybe more than once if we need an extra kick in the head. We all make mistakes and it’s is important to forgive oneself. Sometimes that can be a hard thing to do, I’m struggling with that at the moment. I need to focus on this journey and my trip in Bali, but I also need to let go of past stuff and move forward. That is my intention for this trip, letting go of the past and learning from mistakes and moving forward. I’m not perfect, and I’m sure I’ll make some mistakes in the future, but not the same one’s I have in the past.
I feel like this time around is a combination of lifetimes hurling different lessons to overcome and move on quickly. Time to kick my self into gear here and make some changes.
This feels like my final dance….dance of love.
More to come from Bali in the days ahead….stay tuned
in light and love
August 30, 2015
Although my feet have not left the ground yet, I have begun my journey to Bali. Reading about the Healers of Bali (Balians -although they do not refer to themselves as that, they are quite humble and accept their gift for as long as they are blessed to have it), packing all the essentials and making a list of anything left to pickup. The outward prep is in motion and the inner work has begun as well. Meditations have become deeper, dreams brighter, (although I can’t remember them) the dreams feel important and quite active.
I am making peace with those I have had issues with and reconnected with friends I haven’t seen in quite awhile. This is a feeling I have that I need to come to a neutral place with those around me before I head out, not sure why, maybe it will come to me down the road. It can be quite strange and overwhelming when you reconnect with one person, let alone a few. I’m glad I reached out, I know they are good souls and are doing well, it was lovely to hear they were all in a good place.
Today was a very proactive day, packing, cleaning, shopping, and painting. I don’t usually paint with a lot of Burgundy. I started with burnt sienna, gold and white while I had Maroon 5 playing in the background and somehow I picked up the Burgundy. I didn’t realize a connection until I was on the third painting….guess today was a burgundy(maroon)/white day:-) I started four lovely paintings and hope to finish one or two before I leave.
SO…with that I shall leave with a quick quote:
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. ~Henry Ward Beecher
in light and love,
August 22, 2015
Welcome to my first blog post! I was speaking to a good friend today and I mentioned that I didn’t know what I would write about and he suggested that I start with an inspirational quote that I post on my FB page and write how I feel about it, so here I am. 🙂
I truly believe it comes down to the simple four letter word LOVE. When you open up your heart it is scary, we all have been there and nobody wants to ever get hurt. The only way to experience a sea of love is to open up and trust. When I open my heart chakra during meditation it feels like I’m set free. A beautiful dance of soul and love intermingling in a sweet space.
Detaching from the mind is not always easy, especially when starting to meditate. I can offer a little advice that helped me. You Tube has some lovely guided meditations, start with 5 minutes, use earphones, and just close your eyes and relax. Detach from the mind, open the heart…ok so how do I do that you ask? Concentrate on your breathing, in breath and out breath. If a thought comes in, acknowledge and go back to the breath. Once you practice this then you can visualize opening your heart. That’s one way to start, everyone is different, so you will find your groove and soon it will become an enjoyable part of your day. You may find yourself working up to 30 min or an hour, whatever you do, enjoy your time with you. It doesn’t matter how long you meditate, just that you do it and enjoy it.
Hope you enjoyed my first post, I think I will write about my artwork and process in my next post, this is fun.
Have a wonderful day…in love